The Return of the "Mary" Barge.

It was Gore Vidal who said; "The love (homosexuality) that dare not speak it's name (first quoted by Lord Byron Douglas), can't shut up now." Vidal was making a pissy statement (did he make any other kind?) that homosexuality when before it was hidden and secretive, came out if full, blaring, force with Stonewall to blame. It's understandable because gays where just finding their voice, they just couldn't find the volume control when they spoke.

It was the onslaught of AIDS that quieted that voice because you can't speak 6 feet under ground.

In roughly the 90's "The Gay" started to make a comeback with the media playing no small part. Richard Hatch was a contestant on the T.V. reality show "Survivor" and not only was he an openly gay man comfortable in his own skin with showing a lot of skin, he won with beating the heterosexuals at their own game that made the nation take notice. Shows started to pop up (Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, Will and Grace, the cable show "Queer As Folk" (no one remembers that the cable company Showtime had a gay show called "Brothers" in the early 80's that was a first for cable television with the only other television show with a gay character being "Soap" in the 70's). Gays were likable, non-threatening and almost like magical beings who's sassy talk and femmy behavior matched only that of an entertaining black woman who puts it on thick. Gays to most of America were fun and everyone wanted one, they still do *queue the rise of the metrosexual who made it O.K. to be gay without homosexuality* Homos even had a magical touch with everything from selling crap on the QVC channel because a fat housewife in Minnesota will buy a 'slimming' scarf from an "exotic" gay man before buying it from another dull housewife hawking scarves, to runway drag queens people can't seem to get enough of. In other words, straights are dull, gays bring the excitement and maybe safe titillation when you ask us to feel your tits. Now you can't swing a roll of chiffon without hitting a gay character on almost every network and cable show and with beloved gays like Ellen who come into your home everyday and lovable Doogie Houser, gays are losing their "flair" with turning boring wanting families after getting gay married. Gays are not the 'new black' anymore. By the way, a term hated by blacks who always resented gays comparing our struggle to theirs. Let's get this straight, gays were instrumental in the early civil rights movement with the expectation blacks would be there for us when we had our own movement, they weren't. If that wasn't bad enough, they condemned up by throwing rocks at us from their black churches and calling our love a "white man's disease."


Is all of this good or bad? It's neither, it just is. Now all the attention is being directed at the rights of transgenders because gays are old news, out time in the sun is almost over. Even gay bars are closing because we don't need a private space to be left alone in anymore, we're having chicken wings next to you in your sports bar and you don't even care. When the woman who was the voice of "Snow White" in the Disney classic is speaking out for gay marriage and gays are being accepted in churches en masse, it's only a matter of time before we hear the death knell for our gay rent party.

Duck Fall

This whole Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson (for brevity I will call Phil "Quakers" in this post) brouhaha put a schism between Russ and his family members, something I've been trying to do for years. It's Chick-fil-A all over again and this time it's the hompo haters acting uppity (even GLAAD said they got a ton of shit over calling Quakers out on his comments) getting the upper hand with making the A&E channel revoke Phil's suspension (the whole family threatened to walk if Quakers didn't come back and that probably was a factor with the network) and merchandise of the show that was taken off store shelves (namely "Cracker Barrel" who are no strangers to hompo hating) being put back with apologies from the stores who put profit above doing what's right.

Now Quakers has made what can be called racist comments in the GQ article that got him in hot water to begin with and now a video has surfaced where Quakers thinks girls should be married at 15. All of this will be of no relevance of course because most people won't want to rally around a racist and a pedo advocate so they'll sweep THOSE comments under the rug with selective blocking and only bring to the front what he says about gays.

Quakers is being defended by people who cry it's about free speech, but it's more than that, Quakers is being used as a stand against the acceptance of homosexuality in the hearts and minds of a greater society by those who have this hidden thread of fear and hatred of homosexuality that was really never taken off the back burner of America. No matter what gays believe, we will always, ALWAYS, be seen as a "other than us" to a straight society we live. All straights need is a focal point, someone or cause to hold up like a golden calf, who will justify their ugliness about homosexuality in a mob mentality, a mentality they feel they can get away with if enough people have it. What Quakers represents isn't about free speech or hypocritical Christian views, it's about a deep seeded dis-like for gay men and women when all the pretty talk of acceptance of us is done away with in the greater society.

No homo

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I just popped my collar. No polo.
Himalayan dumplings are delicious. No momo.
Can someone get me a replay of this post? No slow mo'.
This whole thing is very fake gay. No faux 'mo.
Could today be hotter?! No glow mo'.
Arigato. No domo.
We could get catering, but only crudite. No sterno.
Man you totally beat me and now i wanna take it back. No Repo.
And I'm sorry, but this stuff from your basement is terrible. No homegrown.
Flightless birds give me the creeps. No dodo.
There's no way I'm putting my fist up that ass. No Elmo.
Haven't you heard? We're overfishing tuna. No Toro.
You know what? Fuck Missouri. No MO.
Colorado, too. NO CO.
Also, 70s "rock" sucked. No Toto.
I make my bolognese with garlic and basil. No guido.
The Wolfman was unwatchable. No Benicio del Toro.
I use my waffle iron in the morning. No Eggo.
That's a nonstick pan, shithead. No brillo.
Hic! No wino.
The other Marx Brothers are better. No Zeppo.
I make a point of legitimately purchasing everything I walk out of a place of commerce. No klepto.
I'm a regular guy. No JoeBlow.
I tell women when their boyfriends have been cheating, no bro-code.
I'd still hit that. So Homo.

(From the comments section of theawl.com)

my buddy

I was on a restaurant review forum of all places and a girl wrote this:

I want my own fun gay friend!!!!!

I have been watching reruns of Will & Grace...... I want my Will or Jack.... I never have met a nice fun gay guy.... The few and I mean very few (2) that I have actually met have been very grumpy and moody... Not cool.... I want a Jack or Will !!!!!

I wrote her back:

I'll be your gay pet. You can call me at all hours of the night and you can drone on about how your boyfriend doesn't understand you and I'll come over and whip you up beignets and flavored coffee and talk til the morning when we'll hit the farmers market, I'll have flippy hand gestures where you don't know if I'm gay or an upset Italian, we can swirl up each other's hair and I'll have a high pitched voice where people won't be able to tell us apart on the phone. I'll even help you pick out outfits because you're too stupid with how to dress yourself.

It's just a T.V. series with homosexual stereotypes you dumb broad.

I guess I was the grumpy type of homosexual she was talking about...

Boca Burger

"The Warriors" was a pretty good 70's flick. Check out the "Lizzies" below, see how all lesbians are marauding bands of danger dykes? They all speak Italian and love hair crimping.

Someone from this page is a fan of my blog by their frequent visits, how they're linking to me from that page is what I'm wondering.

The Black Cat

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Flannel and Fauna

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nut cracker

Google is celebrating Tchaikovsky's birthday with it's header. I'm telling you he was a homosexual because you wouldn't know if I didn't. Sometimes I wonder what contributions homosexuals have given to society that got lost in the shuffle over time or were blotted out on purpose. I know we didn't invent Beanie Babies and crockpots, I'm pretty sure we invented elegant white slacks and the color mauve.

The man behind the myth

Bayard Rustin told Malcom X he was wrong, history proved Bayard was right. He taught Martin Luther King complete civil disobedience when King still believed in carrying guns for his end, he put together the March on Washington where King Gave his "I have a dream" speech that changed the world, organized the 1964 New York school boycott and fought for the equal treatment of blacks on buses 8 years before Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat. How did King repay him? Kicked him to the curb when Rustin's homosexuality was going to be made public. king didn't stick by his mentor, King didn't stick by his friend.




"Today, blacks are no longer the litmus paper or the barometer of social change. Blacks are in every segment of society and there are laws that help to protect them from racial discrimination. The new "niggers" are gays. . . . It is in this sense that gay people are the new barometer for social change. . . . The question of social change should be framed with the most vulnerable group in mind: gay people."

- Bayard Rustin

Brandy's Boys

I hate gay man cattiness, even though cattiness is in the eye of the beholder. Straight men can be catty, but that translates as dickness or, being an asshole. Effeminate gay men are renown for having that cat "I'm a bitchy woman" gene (along with being partial to the color green and notoriously bad whistlers according to a quack Doctor in 1929 who saw these as tell signs of homosexuality), it's a way of kicking someone's ass without spilling your drink. A straight man will say something mocking that will feel like he hit you over the head with a hammer, a gay man will say something mocking that will feel like he stuck you with a syringe of bleach (the hammer damage is blunt trauma, the syringe stab gets under your skin and works it's way to the bone).
There is a certain honesty with blunt dickness that cutty cattiness is void of, being a dick is most of the time a state of being, cattiness has to be manufactured, like sarcasm or criticism has to be. I will say this, out of the two, only cattiness can give you a floor show of entertainment with a voice 3 octaves too high.

Moving her ass away from "A load full a bitch."

Russ and I were 86'd out of the only lesbian bar in the San Fran Valley a few months ago, now we find out the owners are selling the bar and our banishment to leather pokey and latin hupa bars will soon come to an end. We'll be in smell filled room of estrogen, Prell shampoo, and SHE WOOD perfume by Dsquared2 in no time.

Brandy and the Boys

Rick James in his song "Super Freak" says his freak likes the boys in the band. In the 70's the "Boys in the Band" was the name of a famous play about a group of self-hating gay men and the ugliness that comes out at a Birthday party. The song was the first ode to the "fag hag," a straight girl who has most of her friendships with gay men who are almost always effeminate. She seeks them out, has a disproportionate amount of them, or is dedicated to just one like her life depended on it. These girls either feel they can't be themselves around straight men, are threatened by straight men or just find straight men as uninteresting as a branch. Nothing wrong with gay friendships, but fag hags take it to a new, sickly, level. The thing is my homosexuality shouldn't be the selling point, my being a fag should be like a side dish, the brownie in the T.V. dinner, not the chicken leg main course. If I think you see me that way, I'll float off on the fairy wings you think I have. Fag hags don't see the gay men they befriend as on the same par as our straight counterparts. We are diet Pepsi to a straight boys Coke, they are the "serious stuff," we are the ball of string they play with, gay cattiness that puts a smile on their face. The same respect just isn't there, but gay boys don't want to see it. It's not like I want to knock these kinds of symbiotic relationships, it's just that I have no regard for them. And the boys on the other side of these relationships? I'll get back to them later.

Replace gay *here*

In the 1945 movie "The Lost Weekend," Ray Milland's character is struggling with writers block. In the book it was based on, it has him struggling with his homosexuality. The 'guy' movie "300" never hints King Leonidas was a homosexual like the real one and that the Spartans were notorious for their same sex love (ironic that the army to finally defeat the Spartans were lead by a homosexual, General Epaminondas).

These movies are just two out of the many books, scripts and plays that Hollywood has "straightened," for easy consumption by a "straight" mainstream audience.

Off the top of my head I can name several popular films that have gone through the whitewash:

"The Martian Child" starring John Cusack. The gay David Gordon is turned into a straight widower.

"The Krays" starring Gary and Martin Kemp and "Dead Ringers" starring Jeremy Irons. In each, one of the twin brothers are turned from gay (both movies are based on real people) to straight.

"Enigma" starring Dougray Scott and Kate Winslet. The heterosexual
hero Tom Jericho played by Dougray, is based on gay enigma code breaker Alan Turing.


Like I said, these are just the ones off the top of my head. I wonder how many more I would find if I bothered to take the time to do some serious looking.

Now it's not to say Hollywood hasn't made films that don't have drag queens, gays with AIDS, swishy men for comic relief, sexual predators, titillating lesbians, or homosexuals dealing with some kind of struggle or persecution in some form. I think the film is called "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" starring Val Kilmer, but don't quote me on that. I just think they forgot to drop a plane full of grenades and tacks on him in the final scene (check the DVD).

flexing what I know

The first nursing system set up in the US was set up by a lady lover (Lillian D. Wald).

The epidemic of Samurai killing each other so as to win the affections of the young men playing women in Kabuki plays in ancient Japan prompted the Tokugawa government to ban Grand Kabuki. Imperial China called homosexuality “passion of the cut sleeve.”

One of the greatest art forgers (Elmyr de Hory), Clyde Barrows (Bonnie and Clyde), and a leader of the Dutch Resistance in WW2 (Willem Arondeus) did the same sex tango.

The Opera “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” and Tchaikovsky’s Sixth Symphony, were written by homo men, for homo men.

Lorraine Hansberry who wrote "A Raisin In The Sun," King James who commissioned the writing of the "King James Bible" and our 15th President James Buchanon we can call our own.

Giovanni Casanova, Janis Joplin and Winston Churchill said they had same-sex sex. Alfred Hitchcock said he would have if he didn't meet his wife first. Gary Cooper was bi, so was Jack Kerouac.

We can claim several Popes, at least one Queen (Christina. Possibly Hatshepsut and Queen Modjadji) and King Kamehameha had man lovers (Aikane). We have Pulitzer Prize winners coming out of our asses.

Why I don't vote

When I tell people I don't vote, I get this look like I'm going Up a Down escalator. The herd mentality is so strong on the topic, I usually keep my mouth shut just so I don't hear the harping about it. Angry? Yeah, you could say so.

Several years ago the state of California, my state, was given a proposition to vote on called 22. It said the sanctity of marriage should be kept from homosexuals because they were not heterosexuals. A basic human right given to only a man and woman who desired others with opposite sex organs from themselves, should not be extended to anyone else. The voice of the people of California spoke and it agreed that I was not as deserving of that right as those who desired the opposite sex. I was a "less than" in the eyes of the people and they had no problem in telling me to go "fuck myself" in so many words.

Now how John Doe down the street from me, who's banging the baby sitter, neglecting his kids, and beating his wife because she didn't turn the T.V. channel fast enough, was given the moral power to decide, became the arbiter, on if I should have marriage or not, perplexed me. Last I heard, we did not have tiers of citizenship in this country. You have no right to vote on if I can have rights. I was BORN with inalienable rights just like you. The Bill of Rights and the Constitution said so by the simple fact I am an American. Whether you personally agree or not, you just have no say. That's how it's SUPPOSE to work, but my "Pursuit of Happiness and Freedom," guaranteed me, was instead put to an illegal vote to a majority. Somehow along the way the government's existing to protect the freedom of ALL of it's citizens turned, and now it's about voting on whom to give rights too. That's un-Constitutional, cut and dry and my homosexuality is a non-factor with marriage, a basic right of pursuit for my happiness. NO majority has the right to vote on the Constitutional rights of others. That simply should not be put to a vote. The founding fathers did everything they were suppose to do in writting down that a majority cannot dictate Constitutional freedoms for other Americans in a minority. We are cutting to the very heart of what this country stands, for what our founding fathers fought and died for. I'm sure they thought they made that clear in the Bill of Rights, they were wrong.

So now you know why I don't vote and why I see it as ridiculous when you ask me to vote on a new aqua duct. As for those who voted for prop 22 and prop 8, you can stick your vote up your ass and I mean that as a nice Christian boy. I don't need to be insulted with your "I Can't Believe It's Not Marriage" civil unions. See how well that goes over with the African-American population if you think the idea is so great.

So stick your vote up your ass, I refuse to play.

You say "sausage fest" like it's a bad thing.

Giving me a break

*I HAD a picture here of a man holding up a sign saying "homosexuals are possessed by demons" at some kind of political rally. The pic was taken down from the site I got it from, soon after, the pic disappeared from my post and even the link to the site stopped working. This was my response to that picture you can no longer see:

I'm not possessed by demons, I only have one, and mine sounds and looks like lovable actress Nell Carter from the 80's hit T.V. series "Gimme A Break." I asked Nell: "Nell? Why do people fear what they don't know or what they won't try to understand?" She answered:

"How the Hell should I know THAT? Where am I? Am I dead?! Who are you? I'm a Tony Award winning Broadway star, I'm not a real maid who gives out motherly advice on a sitcom you idiot. And I'm sorry, who are you again??? I'm dead and I'm still fat, how did THAT happen?! I should eat carrots, I think then the pounds will just MELT away. You just can't trust those fancy diets. I tried those Slimfast diet shakes, but I can suck down six of those for lunch and I'm STILL hungry, Oh Lord but those are good! They say to exercise this and exercise that, but I'm a big girl and I don't sweat unless someone is chasing me... "

"Nell! You're not a ghost, you're my demon. Every gay man is allotted a demon while he is alive on this Earth and that demon takes on the form and persona of whomever that gay man has grown to know and love, you happen to be mine, lesbians get a demon too, but all of theirs sound and look like actor Stacey Keach for some reason, now can we stay on track here?"

"A demon?!! Well this just keeps on getting better and better doesn't it?! Sit down child, I'll answer your question, I don't know why, but I will." ::Nell puts my hands in hers::

"A long time ago my mama told me there are people who like 3 bean casseroles and those who don't, though for the world of me I don't understand why anybody wouldn't like 3 bean casseroles, but you know what? You not liking 3 bean casserole is all right, you know why I say that? Because my mama didn't like 3 bean casseroles and I loved my mama."

"I sure do love you Nell."

"I love you too baby, Now why don't you go and make us some salami and butter sandwiches while I figure out a way to get away from you."

Hypocritical Oaf

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i brake for snatch

Unlike my straight counter-parts I have no fear of the emotional depths of a woman, the threat of female emasculation that straight males are born with and I’m void of any oedipal complex that could fuck me up. I wonder if an element in straight men having a problem with my homosexuality is the female bagina (I say bagina instead of vagina because bagina sounds like bagel, I LIKE bagels) has no power over me, a slave will always resent the freedom of another.



I think I’m seen as a traitor to the male camp who see women as a “them” and see all males who have a swinging dick as an “us.” I don’t think any heterosexual male really is out of the kindergarten “girls have cooties/boys are better” mindset because papas the world over instill in their sons a distrust of women they themselves learned from THEIR fathers and like old Faberge shampoo commercial; "and they told two friend and so on and so on..." The daddy dicks leading the son dicks, hoping they find a poon (already sounds cute) attached to a woman who can deal with that distrust and all it’s many ways it will manifests itself in the dynamics of a man/woman relationship.



If you think I’m gay because I had twat (I have no cute name for THAT one) overload growing up, think again. There is no empirical support for that claim anywhere in published medical literature. The dominant mother/absent father myth was started by one man, Charles Socarides, who ironically had a gay son.



If they say all the good ones are all married or gay, keep the store receipt with the married ones, I’m just saying...


NOT a vagina.