24 May 2013
zazazavoom
Now that Russ is getting all this money, he's telling my female members of my family what cunts they were. All this resentment, real and mostly imagined from Russ, is coming out with my mom saying she's dis-owning me because I'm with him.
21 May 2013
Mac's thick and throbbing truck
Believe it or not, I've grown accustomed to Palmdale's face. I'm really feeling this fresh, always windy chilly weather (I don't DO humid weather. I hate sweating even when I work out) and snow and I can deal with the dry heat. We want to buy an estate on the good side of town (read; white) next to all this hub of activity that's the mall, a Trader Joes, nice restaurants and this place on Rancho Vista Blvd. They have an aqueduct that looks like a pretty lake with boats with houses on small hills over-looking it up the Blvd, Poppy festivals and a half-assed water park that beats having no water park at all. The San Fernando valley has 3 levels of smog, always (it's like living in a miasma), no bodies of water,, it's never cold or breezy and too many Armenians. Goodbye men who take cologne baths who think they can transplant Armenia in Burbank one piece at a time. Plus a 'house' we could get in Los Angeles (the only other place we would consider living) we can get a freakn' mansion here in Palmdale for the same price.
Did I mention this place is also gay-cruise city, Palmdale has no gay bars and no cruising areas like say the valley with it's Griffith Park so you have an assload of guys on a Friday night just cruising around the areas looking for some type of action. I run on a road that you can see me from two different streets and guys just park and check me out, stand out of their cars for me to check THEM out with their half open disheveled shirts, pant bulge and reeking of pot and tequila who try to start all kinds of awkward conversations with me that I ignore. If I were a girl I'd think I'd be raped by now.
Did I mention this place is also gay-cruise city, Palmdale has no gay bars and no cruising areas like say the valley with it's Griffith Park so you have an assload of guys on a Friday night just cruising around the areas looking for some type of action. I run on a road that you can see me from two different streets and guys just park and check me out, stand out of their cars for me to check THEM out with their half open disheveled shirts, pant bulge and reeking of pot and tequila who try to start all kinds of awkward conversations with me that I ignore. If I were a girl I'd think I'd be raped by now.
15 May 2013
I see you
"People afflicted with Charles Bonnet Syndrome see beings from another world. Many scientists would call these beings hallucinations. Others call this syndrome a portal to a parallel reality.
People with Charles Bonnet Syndrome (or "Bonnet-people") are otherwise mentally sound. The beings appear when the Bonnet-people's vision deteriorates as a result of eye diseases such as age-related macular degeneration -- or when patients have had both eyes removed. Charles Bonnet Syndrome is more common in older people with a high level of education.
Bonnet-people report that they see apparitions resembling distorted faces, costumed figures, ghosts, and little people.
Most Bonnet-people see beings wearing hats. For example, one very sane woman was sitting quietly at home when she suddenly saw several two-inch-high, stovepipe-hat-wearing chimney sweeps parading in front of her. She tried to catch one, but could not. Her only medical problem was that she had poor sight due to macular degeneration.
One patient described how a friend working in front of a tall privet hedge suddenly disappeared, as if he had suddenly put on a cloak of invisibility. "There was an orange peaked cap bobbing around in front of the hedge and floating in space by its own devices."
Fifty percent of Bonnet-people see a disembodied or distorted face of a stranger with staring eyes and prominent teeth. Sometimes the strangers are seen only in an outline or cartoon-type form, which reminds me of the images seen by people taking the psychedelic drug DMT. The faces "are often described as being grotesque, or like gargoyles."
Some of the beings have blank eye sockets. (This image is also reported by people using the hallucinogen Special K. One person e-mailed me and told me that while under the influence, everything was normal except that people in the room had no eye sockets, just a black void, and he saw light being sucked into the void from around the periphery of the eyeballs.)
Bonnet-people also see serene landscapes and vortices. Many Bonnet-people will see entire new worlds, such as landscapes or groups of people, which are either life size or tiny.
Perhaps when vision deteriorates, the brain's visual cortex is starved for information, and the brain is free to access parallel realities.
Sometimes the imagery can be complex, almost comical, like two miniature policemen guiding a midget villain to a tiny prison van, ghostly (translucent figures floating in the hallway), people wearing one big flower on their heads), as well as beautiful (a shining angel, wonderful group of flowers).
A Swiss philosopher named Charles Bonnet first described this condition in the 1760 when he noticed his grandfather, who was blinded by cataracts, describing birds and buildings that Bonnet could not see. "
- "Sex, Drugs, Einstein, and Elves" by Cliff Pickover.
People with Charles Bonnet Syndrome (or "Bonnet-people") are otherwise mentally sound. The beings appear when the Bonnet-people's vision deteriorates as a result of eye diseases such as age-related macular degeneration -- or when patients have had both eyes removed. Charles Bonnet Syndrome is more common in older people with a high level of education.
Bonnet-people report that they see apparitions resembling distorted faces, costumed figures, ghosts, and little people.
Most Bonnet-people see beings wearing hats. For example, one very sane woman was sitting quietly at home when she suddenly saw several two-inch-high, stovepipe-hat-wearing chimney sweeps parading in front of her. She tried to catch one, but could not. Her only medical problem was that she had poor sight due to macular degeneration.
One patient described how a friend working in front of a tall privet hedge suddenly disappeared, as if he had suddenly put on a cloak of invisibility. "There was an orange peaked cap bobbing around in front of the hedge and floating in space by its own devices."
Fifty percent of Bonnet-people see a disembodied or distorted face of a stranger with staring eyes and prominent teeth. Sometimes the strangers are seen only in an outline or cartoon-type form, which reminds me of the images seen by people taking the psychedelic drug DMT. The faces "are often described as being grotesque, or like gargoyles."
Some of the beings have blank eye sockets. (This image is also reported by people using the hallucinogen Special K. One person e-mailed me and told me that while under the influence, everything was normal except that people in the room had no eye sockets, just a black void, and he saw light being sucked into the void from around the periphery of the eyeballs.)
Bonnet-people also see serene landscapes and vortices. Many Bonnet-people will see entire new worlds, such as landscapes or groups of people, which are either life size or tiny.
Perhaps when vision deteriorates, the brain's visual cortex is starved for information, and the brain is free to access parallel realities.
Sometimes the imagery can be complex, almost comical, like two miniature policemen guiding a midget villain to a tiny prison van, ghostly (translucent figures floating in the hallway), people wearing one big flower on their heads), as well as beautiful (a shining angel, wonderful group of flowers).
A Swiss philosopher named Charles Bonnet first described this condition in the 1760 when he noticed his grandfather, who was blinded by cataracts, describing birds and buildings that Bonnet could not see. "
- "Sex, Drugs, Einstein, and Elves" by Cliff Pickover.
12 May 2013
Saccharine
Adam Williams is now all over the place (Russ's stepdad) for some reason, even has a wiki page now. For those who don't remember...
This probate thing is taking too long for Russ's liking and he's now looking into these companies that will give you an advance of your inheritance (who knew?), for a price. We're talking about 1 mil for now until he gets his big money (they'll get at least 25 thou out of it). He wants it so bad he can taste it at this point. Leave it up to my sister to have plans for Russ's dough, now she's talking about a bigger house (one with a turret) and plastic surgery, and my niece is now talking about Russ buying her into a restaurant franchise so she'll have continual money. Who knew my family were like that? If I didn't keep about talking about killing my mother-in-law with exotic poisons (that I will now be able to afford) on my blog, I probably would have gotten away with it, now I incriminated myself all over the place here (God knows what money he'll give HER). Russ would kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill me if he know I was giving out all this personal information.
I've wondered about the direction of this blog, if I should even keep it. I've really put my heart in it, bled a little of myself into it. Isn't that the point of having a personal blog? I've always thought only a few get it, get me, and if I should bother with this small place in the blogsphere when there are so many wonderful blogs about baby cakes and horology that have tons of attention, maybe I am just a weird gay boy thinking people will find me interesting when I was wrong all along. I see myself sitting in a lounge overlooking the lights of Hong Kong (I'll make it happen) and writing here...
...melancholy and buzzed as always.
This probate thing is taking too long for Russ's liking and he's now looking into these companies that will give you an advance of your inheritance (who knew?), for a price. We're talking about 1 mil for now until he gets his big money (they'll get at least 25 thou out of it). He wants it so bad he can taste it at this point. Leave it up to my sister to have plans for Russ's dough, now she's talking about a bigger house (one with a turret) and plastic surgery, and my niece is now talking about Russ buying her into a restaurant franchise so she'll have continual money. Who knew my family were like that? If I didn't keep about talking about killing my mother-in-law with exotic poisons (that I will now be able to afford) on my blog, I probably would have gotten away with it, now I incriminated myself all over the place here (God knows what money he'll give HER). Russ would kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill me if he know I was giving out all this personal information.
I've wondered about the direction of this blog, if I should even keep it. I've really put my heart in it, bled a little of myself into it. Isn't that the point of having a personal blog? I've always thought only a few get it, get me, and if I should bother with this small place in the blogsphere when there are so many wonderful blogs about baby cakes and horology that have tons of attention, maybe I am just a weird gay boy thinking people will find me interesting when I was wrong all along. I see myself sitting in a lounge overlooking the lights of Hong Kong (I'll make it happen) and writing here...
...melancholy and buzzed as always.
02 May 2013
Stepford Fag
I'm literally looking out a picture window at a mulberry tree (I've been eating the things so I HOPE it's a mulberry tree instead of toxic berries that will eat my dick away from the inside out like that fish in the Amazon) and I'm wondering how I got here. I don't care who believes me or not, but Russ got an inheritance from his dad. The man was smart enough to invest in those big cranes that dig for oil off shores. Russ didn't talk to his dad for the last 5 years of his life because he made a scene when Steve died (Russ's gay brother who died of AIDS) and I went to the funeral (he told Russ; "How DARE you bring him to a family funeral") so it was a big surprise when Russ was contacted by an attorney. We are talking about a couple of mil. I have all I need so I think it's just travel for us, something I don't care about. I've eaten caviar and have tried all the freaky things I've wanted to try because my big thing is flavor on my mouth, I'm happy with my clothes, I'm going to get a killer car (money green, Aston Martin convertible) and what's left after that? I've never wanted since I was a kid so it's not a big deal for me. I'm thinking of giving to charity. Why am I so unhappy?
23 April 2013
Personal Horror
Only one other topic has as many hits as my "Huell Howser" posts, it's what I wrote about the Amityville Horror. Spiritual ugliness stays and scars the people it touches, like the Summerwind House, Amityville should have been burned to the ground. Yet another confirmation of what was a real, demonic, horror.
20 April 2013
17 April 2013
14 April 2013
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