16 April 2014

Palmdale is Bust

I grew up in the San Fernando valley. The closest thing I ever had with what can be called anti-gay incidents there is being called a fag by a passing car because I wore a crisp, pink, dress shirt and being told by a group of black guys;"Don't show us that!' because Russ and I were macking in a Fatburger on Highland. I started to wonder about Palmdale because of pieces of shit like dickwad here and his pappy the smarmy people of Palmdale embraced like a long uncle who's also a war criminal, but you love the rascal anyway because he's family. I noticed when we first moved here the icy looks Russ and I would get. I didn't pay attention because what was I expecting? Someone to bring us over Dulce de Leche bunt cake in an apron to welcome us to the neighborhood? Mexicans don't do aprons unless it's part of their costume or baked goods they hand over freely. The first incident telling me Palmdale wasn't open arms to "our kind" is when Russ said he went back to the Burger King to get some taco sauces he forgot and caught the guy over the counter was telling the cook; "Yeah, I know he's a faggot." What?!! Then it started to click, the stares, the ugly looks, people were recognizing us as a couple. It all came to a head when a few days ago new neighbors moved next door to us with not even looking our direction starting to put their moving boxes in our trash cans and we actually caught their kids looking through our trash cans at 11 p.m. with flashlights because their parents put them up to it (looking for what? Kiddie porn? Social security numbers?). Russ had enough when they put a shopping cart on the side of our house and Russ told the kid who was outside; "Do you know who put this here?" and the kid responded; "How the fuck should I know?!" Well that sealed the deal and it ended with Russ being in the face of the dad with threatening to wipe the ground with him. During the arguing the dad said to Russ; "All the neighbors told us you were gay!" Like he was accusing us and he knew our 'dark secret' to throw it in our face.

I didn't know Palmdale was in what is called the Antelope Valley "Bible Belt" (the 15 churches on just Avenue R alone should have told me something) and the fact they would embrace such a vile homophobe (the voted him in office over and over again and when he died and went to Hell they started doing it with his hateful son) should have been a warning to me that the city limits signs have "Bigots Welcome Here" in small print.

What would Cruella De Vil look like if she were a man?

13 April 2014

12 April 2014

New wallet and a blowjob

What the fuck is going down in shopping mall restrooms?

11 April 2014

08 April 2014

Another Korean pop song that crawled up my ass and refuses to die.

06 April 2014

04 April 2014

Drinks and a movie

Bad Santa

28 March 2014

Drinks and a Movie

Homicidal Maniac

18 March 2014

Russia's Lady Gaga

Under Russia's new anti-gay propaganda law, this broad's time is ticking if she keeps this up. Enjoy her before she gets arrested like the group "Pussy Riot.' By the way she has in her video some of the most public gay figures in the Russian media...tick, tick tick...

07 March 2014

Drinks and a movie

One of my favorite flicks.

*Trivia* In the original script Michael Beck's character "Swan" is taken hostage by a gay gang called the "Dingos," A gang of masochistic queers with Doberman pinchers and blonde wigs. They never filmed it for time constraints, but they sure had enough time to film the "Lizzies."

Dingo (Toss Swan's) Salad recipe

04 March 2014

02 March 2014

My trip to the asian market...in Palmdale

I went to Palmdale's equivalent of Chinatown, a storefront Asian market/restaurant in a mini-mall with Christmas light hanging in the front and signs in the window saying you can buy purified water inside.

I bought the infamous Kewpie mayo ($3.99. goes for 15 bucks on Amazon), mud fish sauce that looks like fermented fingers in shit that was mixed with shit 2 years old (let these guys give you the sensation (10:15 mark) of it) and these little bitties that I use like I sprinkle commas in my paragraphs.

I miss MY Chinatown and it's starting to dawn on me that maybe Palmdale isn't the place for me. When I die I'd like to be in the middle of and smelling the electricity of the a metropolis called L.A. and not relegated to it's backwoods praying in the direction of Musso and Franks.

27 February 2014

25 February 2014


Russ loves this stuff.