06 January 2010

Brandy's Boys

I hate gay man cattiness, even though cattiness is in the eye of the beholder. Straight men can be catty, but that translates as dickness or, being an asshole. Effeminate gay men are renown for having that cat "I'm a bitchy woman" gene (along with being partial to the color green and notoriously bad whistlers according to a quack Doctor in 1929 who saw these as tell signs of homosexuality), it's a way of kicking someone's ass without spilling your drink. A straight man will say something mocking that will feel like he hit you over the head with a hammer, a gay man will say something mocking that will feel like he stuck you with a syringe of bleach (the hammer damage is blunt trauma, the syringe stab gets under your skin and works it's way to the bone).
There is a certain honesty with blunt dickness that cutty cattiness is void of, being a dick is most of the time a state of being, cattiness has to be manufactured, like sarcasm or criticism has to be. I will say this, out of the two, only cattiness can give you a floor show of entertainment with a voice 3 octaves too high.

Moving her ass away from "A load full a bitch."


  1. I know exactly what you mean about that syringe of bleach feeling. Girls do it too, but no one excels at it like gay men. I admire the ability. It requires a great deal more intelligence and understanding of human nature and the nature of the target, the recipient of the needleful of clorox, and as a writer that's just the kind of thing I'd like to get a better grasp on. I'd do most anything short of gay acts to acquire it LOL! Great post!

  2. Thanks for that. I wouldn't go so far as to admire the ability, but it is a gay man's domain out of necessity, a mechanism for survival with words instead of fists because, lets face it, gay men aren't known for their prize fighting.

    This post is the second part (it's part of a pair, like tit tassles or cute salt and pepper shakers) of a post I wrote awhile back ago, check it out under the "fruit fly" tag.

  3. I haven't visited your blog in a while. I went through your older posts trying to catch up. I think I read everything, but you certainly post a lot—I wish I had your dedication (or free time :)).

    Sorry you didn't like the Christmas gift I gave you—I guess it didn't catch your "man fancy". I am glad that you were able to exchange it. I thought all gay guys were into firemen—that it was kind of a requirement for joining the club. Just another stereotype I suppose.

    As for the cattiness, I have known many people who revel in being catty...gay, straight and otherwise. I find it sad when it gets to the point that you described. It is just a case of people trying to feel better about themselves by looking down on others. At a certain point, it is no longer witty, it is just pathetic.

    Self esteem is a precious commodity.

    Now, with that said, a lot of that bitchy banter shit really cracks me up.

  4. You're a real trooper in keeping up, I have to poke my other followers with a stick to see if they're still breathing. It's not much as having free time as it is being lazy at work and I have no diapers that need a washin' or babies that need a burpin' when I get home.

    Don't get me wrong, I love my gift, It's just I'm going to keep it in it's wrapper so I can give it to someone else next year without telling you.

    Self esteem doesn't come easy when you are told at an early age, in many different and subtle ways, that you are a piece of shit for being different. Now be a dear and get me another drinky before you lose another job.


I eat your comments with jam and butter.