26 January 2011

No homo

link

I just popped my collar. No polo.
Himalayan dumplings are delicious. No momo.
Can someone get me a replay of this post? No slow mo'.
This whole thing is very fake gay. No faux 'mo.
Could today be hotter?! No glow mo'.
Arigato. No domo.
We could get catering, but only crudite. No sterno.
Man you totally beat me and now i wanna take it back. No Repo.
And I'm sorry, but this stuff from your basement is terrible. No homegrown.
Flightless birds give me the creeps. No dodo.
There's no way I'm putting my fist up that ass. No Elmo.
Haven't you heard? We're overfishing tuna. No Toro.
You know what? Fuck Missouri. No MO.
Colorado, too. NO CO.
Also, 70s "rock" sucked. No Toto.
I make my bolognese with garlic and basil. No guido.
The Wolfman was unwatchable. No Benicio del Toro.
I use my waffle iron in the morning. No Eggo.
That's a nonstick pan, shithead. No brillo.
Hic! No wino.
The other Marx Brothers are better. No Zeppo.
I make a point of legitimately purchasing everything I walk out of a place of commerce. No klepto.
I'm a regular guy. No JoeBlow.
I tell women when their boyfriends have been cheating, no bro-code.
I'd still hit that. So Homo.

(From the comments section of theawl.com)

7 comments:

  1. I still have no idea how that phrase works. Is it used instead of "no way" or is it just a random thing you say because it rhymes? Americans like to rhyme, I know that. Just weird.

    And dumb.

    And that's why I have my iPod on constantly, so I don't have to listen to stupid shit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. WH,

    Straight male to another straight male: "That guy's dick looks like it's snaking down his pant leg. No homo.

    With saying 'no homo' after the comment, he's saying; "I'm saying that in the context of just observation and not in the context of homosexuality, just to make sure you don't think I'm a fag."

    CA,

    I came up with:
    I'm hitting the tanning bed later. No Cheeto.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I want to get drunk on mint and sugar. No Mojito.

    I want to beat you within an inch of your life. No Socko.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I want to watch a Locked Up marathon. No chomo.

    . . . chomo is prison slang for child molester

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like boy bands. No Menudo

    I'm craving tripe soup. No Menudo

    Can I see a Mexican menu? No Menudo

    ReplyDelete

I eat your comments with jam and butter.