27 February 2009

i brake for snatch

Unlike my straight counter-parts I have no fear of the emotional depths of a woman, the threat of female emasculation that straight males are born with and I’m void of any oedipal complex that could fuck me up. I wonder if an element in straight men having a problem with my homosexuality is the female bagina (I say bagina instead of vagina because bagina sounds like bagel, I LIKE bagels) has no power over me, a slave will always resent the freedom of another.

I think I’m seen as a traitor to the male camp who see women as a “them” and see all males who have a swinging dick as an “us.” I don’t think any heterosexual male really is out of the kindergarten “girls have cooties/boys are better” mindset because papas the world over instill in their sons a distrust of women they themselves learned from THEIR fathers and like old Faberge shampoo commercial; "and they told two friend and so on and so on..." The daddy dicks leading the son dicks, hoping they find a poon (already sounds cute) attached to a woman who can deal with that distrust and all it’s many ways it will manifests itself in the dynamics of a man/woman relationship.

If you think I’m gay because I had twat (I have no cute name for THAT one) overload growing up, think again. There is no empirical support for that claim anywhere in published medical literature. The dominant mother/absent father myth was started by one man, Charles Socarides, who ironically had a gay son.

If they say all the good ones are all married or gay, keep the store receipt with the married ones, I’m just saying...

NOT a vagina.


  1. so great.

    I have a brother who is 6 years my jr. and in the late 80's I called him a "fag" like nonstop. lol... I actually wasn't referring to him being gay at all though it was just the word I used for everything. My mom, however would yell "MAEGAN, IF YOUR BROTHER TURNS OUT GAY IT'S YOUR FAULT" ...lol. My poor brother was also raised with very strong bagines and no males around ...but is in fact, not gay and married a woman who is very much like my mother and myself ....strong.

    Just what I thought about while reading your post. :) {also, your title is brilliant}

  2. 3 of my cousins had a really smothering mother (my mom was not smothering in the least)and all 3 are straight, 1 being in the Army Special Forces.

  3. yay for strong women, yay for YOU, and yay for straight guys that get it.

    and yay for bagina. my 4-year old niece says "bagina" and it is too cute!

    and thank you for visiting my blog. i like you and yer blog!!!!


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