I'm a people person

link

I want to know where her blog profile pic was taken, it had to be some kind of studio owned by an aunt who's probably a slumlord with her other buildings. Sara had to have stuck her kid in day care for the day or maybe the kid is on the side of the camera chewing through electrical cords while mom is getting her profile pic taken. The kid was suppose to be watched by Sara's sister "Ruthie," but Ruthie had a hankering for onion rings and left the kid for only a minute because we all know "Ruthie needs her onion ring fix." Ruthie thinks she's a connoisseur when it comes to onion rings and always says the onion rings at Dumont Burger on Bedford Avenue are "So Heavenly, she don't need a man." Who ever took Sara's picture told her; "Bend at the knees so it looks like you're about to jump on a pony and you look even shorter," "O.K now look like you're throwing dice." She really took to heart the advice that layering clothing and black is slimming, or she's one of those people who are always saying they're freezing and "will someone please close the window?!"
I'm glad I'm not a smoker, because then she'd REALLY think I was a big asshole.

Friday

What a fucking bumpy week this was for me. Please take the time to visit my favorite blogger and don't forget to eat or drown with drink your issues away.

slip her a vickey

A woman wrote a post saying only; "I Overwhelm Myself." How do you overwhelm yourself? How do you get so full of yourself that you have to fan yourself like a black woman in a Southern Church or grab a piece of the wall just to stable yourself because of your inner shine? I commented with; "Sometimes I overwhelm myself so much I have to sit myself down and tell myself to knock it off and then when I'm not looking I tell the neighbors I live in a pigsty because I'm that kind of friend that would stab myself in the back." I go back later and she deletes the entire post, She's also a pushy broad with post titles like "Fuck You if you use lard to cook." What a wag bag.


now enjoy some strippers.

Oy Ben

OH SHIT!

This is Ben. I had no clue he squeaked. He's somehow crooked and a balloon version of what I thought he was, like too much of a spice you taste in a paella you can't quite place, but you KNOW you don't like, he makes me want to bring back the word "Egads!" just for him. I also thought he was straight and I could have a little fun making him feel uncomfortable, but now I find out he'd jump on my form faster than, well, Ben on a dick. Such a disappointment.



I'm sticking with my bromance Todd X.

spotspit on bloggers

Fuck you Zach "Sunshine" and your fucked up Chlorine hair you Jon Favreau-looking mother fucker. Hope negativity bites you in the ass like a baby alligator.

I see this guys blog pop up every time I'm checking blogs and his positivity is like trying to get black tar off my eyelashes, I swear it drains me seeing his pic.


"I like to put negative energy out into the Universe so when it comes back to me as life giving me lemons, I can make lemonade. It's a win win situation with a refreshing drink closing the deal."

-ME

¥@MI (*_*) ♥ (^ - ^) ®0L¥

I'm thinking of following blogs that are light years from mine in content. Blogs like a personal blog for the Cruff family or a blog for "The staff of the UW Engineering Library Reference Desk," or a credit union blog in North Carolina just so they see "ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND" on their blogger "follow" feature and say; "Why the fuck is he here?"

but this post kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it?

spotspit on bloggers

Is it me or is this chic blasting off the ground? And get a load of this guy while he gets his loads.

This woman makes personalized diaper cakes on her blog. I wrote her saying if she could make the center of my cake a bottle of bourbon because baby is a secret drinker, not a heavy drinker, just a secret drinker, she told me never to write her again and wouldn't a bourbon diaper cake be making baby's secret drinking public?

Dem Dare Wacky Bloggers

I like to check out blogger profiles. If you limit what they wrote down in their "interest" section of their profiles, you get these examples:

Hannah

Sex: Female

Age: 23

Interests include: Höstlöv, att äta saker med sked, kort hår, läppglans, väskor, klänningar, starka färger, marginaljusterad text, cardigans (OBS: klädesplagget, inte bandet, de är för tråkiga).

or

Johnnie

Sex: Male

Age: 30

Interests include: african violets, cockatiels, knitting, breeding cockatiels, candles, gardening, papermaking, marigolds, peaches, teddy bears, water colors, exorcisms.


CVO

Sex: Female

Age: Not Given

Interests include: nursing home, shooting, rifle, shotgun, pistol, insurance.

Sister vs Jones

Cleopatra will kick her through a few plate glassed windows, but Supa will bean her over the head with a plant vase and win.

spotspit on a bloggers #1, Pretty in Pink...and red

I think this blogger wants to destroy me. I can see it in her eyes, she wants my total annihilation and my head on a spit to feed her Boston Terrier Mr. Cuddleboo. Don't let her sweet talk of vespas, lovely happenings and love of bright colors fool you, the only bright color she likes is the bright crimson of my blood she'll paint pretty cherry blossoms on her wall with. When when gets high on speedballs and black licorace, she'll stab you in the neck with her "Property Of Megan" inscribed feathered pen and kick those who would come to your rescue with the steel toe end of her "Badgley Mischka For Teens" shoes. She needs to be tasered, on sight, before authorities arrive.

This guy pisses me off because of the way he drinks coffee.