pictures of it

I'm not putting ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND as a blog header. It's not like I see this place as a private sheshe club that doesn't have a sign outside the door to discourage any shleb from finding it, it's because I've so fucked-up my blogger template to the point I don't know where to go to do it. I've snipped and tweaked this place beyond recognition. Strangers will find this place thinking; "It's... jalapenos... ?..." and wonder why all my lovers are calling me an asshole when I'm obviously a *great guy.

*they'll interchange GREAT with DASHING and COQUETTISH.

avocados, asbestos...

what people put as an "interest" on their blog profile:


Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Bail Bonds
swoopy haircuts
acid
fenyőillat
the usual
banishments
getting fucked
extreme ironing
chafing dish
Hi-Fructose

3 people have "dipping sauces" as a blog interest. Me, dumb bitch (two lesbians who scare me and make my dick shrivel up like I've been in cold water for 5 hours) and a girl named Heather who stalks the unwary. What kind of fucked-up company am I in?

Darby de Tripas

Homo singer Darby Crash of "The Germs" is (was) the pic below my blog header and I like taco truck food (tacos de tripas is the bomb), so I got rid of the L.A. club pic for a taco truck.

real fake leather

When I complain about my blog feed not being updated I'm going to ask Blogger if they'll put in some shag carpeting to make my blog look more cushiony, maybe some canary yellow throw rugs, some faux marble wall beams for my blog header so the first thing you'll think when my blog pops up is; "Oh shit! Did I just wonder onto someone's Estate?" I want my blog to smell like enchiladas and fresh cut grass.

knocker

QueerListing took so long listing my site I said they're notorious for hating BQQ's and Koreans, sometimes separate, but mostly together. Next thing I know they disable my profile saying something about spam abuse, I don't even know what that is. Are they saying I'm giving out spam (ever have a sushi spam roll? delicious)? If that is what they are saying, they are big fibbers who are getting back at me for saying they hate a certain segment of the Asian population who love to put circles in their words. I would take my site off the service, but even bad traffic is good traffic.

I'm also getting alot of complaints that my RSS feed is not updating and my blog can't be followed. Tell me if you've tried to use the blog 'follower' feature on me and if it isn't working so I can bitch to Blogger about that too.

spacious, more carpeting

Talk about roomy. I hacked into my blogger Html to give my images more space (same way I got rid of that blogger nav bar and put pop-up comments on the side) and now I have all this empty space. You can fill it with cherries, olives, emergency money (I promise I won't touch it), those fancy corn cob holders you've been saving, instead of using a shoebox, use my blog for your creepy diorama, I have plenty of room. I can almost hear an echo like when you first move in an apartment or house and you have that weird hollow echo until you start moving your shit in. My words are the same size, but now I look like I wrote twice as much, how did they pull off THAT optical illusion? Just pretend all the empty grey space is dirty water and try to go fishing for trout.

When I put my e-mail link on the right of my blog, it was for copyright issues. I didn't expect e-mails back of; "You're a good c*nt aren't you?" Or "Show pictures of your toes bitch!" And the such and such from strangers.
Keep in mind I have a house full of Christian orphans who read my blog (I insist on it) and they don't like reading it.

Why do you hate me Ken Yakamoto?

QueerListing won't list my site. I think it's because I said Korean BQQ rocks my world, I never know about these things (they're notorious for hating BQQ's and Koreans, sometimes separate, but mostly together).