27 September 2009

Bombe Fantastic

I somehow got another blog award. Congent Descending gave me this heartfelt award because he recognizes beauty, the beauty that is me.




I would give him an AB Award, but I don't want to lose another follower.

Now 7 things about me.

Rod Lowe's stunt double hit on me at a party in the Hollywood hills.

I had a 78' Ford pickup truck that was on live T.V. in a high speed Police chase right before I got it.

Of all languages, I wish I could speak fluent Finnish.

I'm a "Power Bottom" in fag slang.

I went camping as a Boy Scout. A boy got lost in the surrounding area 2 weeks prior, so I thought he was out there waiting to eat me if I went out of the tent to pee at night (I figured by now he was really really HUNGRY).

The first drink I ever had was a Comfort and Coke at a gay bar in Tucson Arizona called "The Fineline" when I was 16. Bought for me by a girl from the south who hiked up her skirt to show me her panties.

My first job was as a bag boy at a Supermarket. I was hit on by the produce guy who was a babe, the stud who crushed boxes in the back of the store who looked like he just got out of state prison and the guy in the liquor department who looked like 70's porn who fucked half of our married female customers. I never did anything with any of them because I was sweet on this one checker who looked like a blond Clay Adler, rode BMX bikes and who's girlfriend treated him like shit. It got around to him that I liked him and he would stumble over his words when he tried to talk to me, I stopped talking to him all together because he's not Chris Adler and I'm not the fat girl at the prom who needs his fuckin' charity. I stole "Charlie Brown" CD'S for my little niece when I was there, but not the good ones like a Charley Brown Christmas or Halloween, they were shitty ones like "Happy Arbor Day Charlie Brown."



8 comments:

  1. Did Rob Lowe's stunt double look anyhing like Rob Lowe?

    I can't help you with the Finnish but I could teach you Swedish, and Finland were ours up until 1809 and Swedish still is an official language of the state of Finland. And yeah I did look it up on Wikipedia!

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  2. Looked exactly like him, stunt doubles have to looke like the actor, body doubles don't. I was with someone else at the time and it would have been really skeezy of me to be macking on someone else at a party, not my style.

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  3. OK, you're forgiven for not gettin' it on with fake Rob Lowe. It's not really the same thing but if my sister would've had a chance with the REAL Rob Lowe I think she would dumped the BF and kid in a heart beat, OK maybe not the kid but definetely the BF!

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  4. First of all it wasn't his stunt double.
    He told me the same thing last weekend at a party in Orange County right before his wife came up to him and was all like "Hey Robert it's time to go."

    A power bottom?
    Really?
    I would have never guessed.

    And lastly I fucking LOVE Happy Arbor Day Charlie Brown.
    Best album I own.

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  5. It wasn't his wife, it was his mom, he had football practice in the morning.

    Tops are so 90's, versatiles went out with macrobiotic foods.

    Then "You're a Good Sport, Charlie Brown" must be Your Citizen Kane.

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  6. You is a funny one! I'm sure your niece would've appreciated the Charlie brown anyway :)
    Now....may i ask what exactly is a "power bottom"? My arse has been described as such, but only by me, and only after too much curry. (Yup, I'm what you call a "lady". Ever seen that episode of Flight Of the Conchords where Jemaine starts dating an Aussie girl? That's me.)
    Man, you seem to have been hit on by a LOT of people in your time. I can't even remember what it's like to be hit on anymore...
    Hmmm, Finnish 'eh? Sounds too complicated for lazy simi, but I hope you get around to learning it! I've always wanted to learn Japanese, but again, the laziness thing.

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  7. She still has them all, I think she's keeping them as a reminder of either how much her uncle loved her or how I was a born shoplifter.

    Power bottom def from urbandictionary.com:

    "term for a gay man in the receiving role during gay sex who is aggressive and dominant rather than passive and permissive. Can be combined with other definitions."

    You know, re-reading this post looks like I'm some kind of beauty queen. Rob Lowe's stunt double hit on me years after my job at the supermarket was when I was in my teens.

    I gave up on learning Finnish because they use words like Venetsialaiset and the word for rye bread is Ruissihtileipä.

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  8. Aha! Well, i learn something new everyday! Thanks for "filling me in" hehehehehee like what i did there? *juvenile snicker*

    Yup, I don't think I'll be attempting Finnish. A word meaning "bread" should never contain 5 syllables. Jeezus. I imagine that if you bought one of those audio "learn at home" type cd's it would come in a 20 disc box set or some shit.
    This reminds me- I actually knew a girl who was learning Gaelic once. I swear it would make Finnish look SIMPLE. Craaaazy stuff!

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I eat your comments with jam and butter.