TADS

piss and vino

I can't take men's magazines like GQ and Esquire when they take what is suppose to be a stereotypical man and makes him into a hyper-masculine cartoon of what a man is suppose to be, making sure he doen't have a speck of fag on his collar along the way. These are real quotes from men's magazins like Esquire:

A plate of salami can be a meal, if it's what's there. You look around. Fried eggs over tortilla chips.

Whether it's their diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids or their 10 percent larger brains, the Gays have developed a peaceful society of brotherly love that the Straights seem intent on ruining with their backyard wrestling and generally grim attitudes.

Rest assured, after she slips this pair on (Christian Louboutin shoes), that flash of crimson you'll see when she kicks up her heel is a definite green light.

Let's not get carried away, but some women do foster a nesting urge just before the onset of menstruation, which might induce them to concern themselves with domestic issues, like cleaning. If it were to happen, this would likely occur in the third, or "luteal," phase of the menstrual cycle. (It won't be on the test.) However, this unpredictable phase is subject to much hormonal travail, so tread lightly when putting in requests. With a little practice, you'll soon be able to perfectly time your needs to a woman's period, and once you unlock the secrets of the cycle, no woman will be able to resist cleaning up after you. Your mother could use a break anyway.

...that's how they roll in the Marines. The second night I was home, I went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant with my wife and some friends. There was much lively discussion about which wine to order. Everyone weighed in with their up-to-date and erudite opinions. All I could think about was how good it had felt that morning to sit on a real toilet, alone, and take a shit.

stupid boys on film

Guys waiting outside of girly clothing stores in malls (Victoria's Secret is a big one) while their girlfriends look inside are jokes. Instead of going inside and just being with your girlfriend, on top of helping her pick out what she will be wearing, something YOU will be forced to look at ON her, you rather stay outside sitting on benches looking retarded holding her purse with other dopes. If I had a girlfriend, you couldn't keep me out of those places. I'd be talking her into getting everything from bikini britches to crotchless jeans; "Get this baby, they show off your great areolas."

Straight Boy Twats

I know straight guys read my blog because I post on your blogs about the same interests and you check mine out out of curiosity if nothing else. You guys never comment back, never bother posting on my stuff, even deleting my non-sexual comments (I don't DO sexual comments in other peoples pads) when I'm the only one commenting on your shit, why? Afraid someone is going to see you say something to a fag? Wonder what Aunt Jo is going to think back on the farm when she sees a comment coming from a big city sissy on your blog? Or maybe you think your going to fall over one of my widgets and find yourself with your face between my legs. What a bunch if insecure pussies, grow up you nobs.

Straight guy

wang

You know I'm gonna be telling this to every straight dude I know every chance I get:

"Hey Bob, can you tell your wife to pass the string beans to the guy with the biggest cock at the table?"
"I'm sorry for your Father's passing, did you know my dick is bigger than yours in 5 different ways?"