06 March 2012

Losing Face

Russ closed his Facebook account today. I love my baby, but I think he should stay away from social media sites. He set up the account without me and one day I decided to visit. I saw he had a friend with his exact same first and last name. He told me he thought it would be fun to follow someone with his name, what wasn't fun was the other Russell would post about having anger and fury that he couldn't control and my Russ thought someone would get the two of them confused. He also made friend with a middle aged Balinese woman. I asked him; "Why are you two friends?" He said she asked him to be her friend and he couldn't say no. His other followers were my niece, and a girl he knew since he was 7 who owned a Pilates studio in Studio City, a Real Estate agent and the relentless "Anita" who's always hitting my blog to contact Russ like he was 911. One day I was bored and posted nonsense on other Facebook accounts as "Heather Poon" using his account and this one time I wrote on a anti-adultery/anti-gay marriage Facebook group how I; "Don't want a hussy who couldn't keep her own man teaching my fat child in public schools...Can you imagine her bitching to her class all day with her tits all jutting out about how how she was dumped by someone else's husband instead of teaching my kid Engrish?" When Russ found out what I was up too, he blew a gasket and maybe he had more in common with that other Russ than he thought. I don't know how I did it, but I also made him Facebook friends with Ramona Rizzo from the reality series "Mob Wives" and like too much cling-free fabric softener, it got too much for Russ and it was so long Facebook.

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