12 December 2011

Sorrowful Jones

Russ and I have taken up this bad habit of slumming around bars on the fringes of skid row (it started with our "haunted tour" at the Cecil Hotel and we said to ourselves:  "Selves? This isn't so bad, screw the ghosts and let's come back for the cheap drinks and shady characters"). You'd think it would be depressing, but it's like a New York adventure with the excitement some hobo might fuck me up for my fake Breguet. We aren't the only ones, artsy snobs are doing the same who have lofts and art galleries around the area. You haven't lived until you've been served a $2 drink by a miserable old woman who sounds like she's been smoking chimney stacks for the last 53 years with someone dead passed out next to you at the Kings Eddy Saloon. Downtown Los Angeles is the epi-center of black men in wheelchairs asking you for cigs (cigs are like currency over there) and the atmosphere feels like something is about to go down. It's weird seeing a middle aged white woman who didn't meet a plastic surgery she didn't like walk her 3 chows passed a rotting black man peeing on himself.  $5 haircuts (L.A. Barber College), going to the Hotel the Black Dahlia was seen at (The Biltmore), it's all here.

I've noticed this ugly trend in gay mags, blogs, of gay men who write down their back and forth banter like it's so entertaining to hear two fags hash out what they thought about the latest movie they've just seen. I'm sure witless straight people get a kick out of what two gay men burp out to each other, but most of it is idiocy and stereotypical from fags who should know better:

Mark: Did you see how hot Adrian Brody was in "Smiley Face?"
Mike: Oh you crazy bitch! And yes I did.
Mark: I'd give Brody a smiley face when I make him my same-sex hubba hubba hubby.
Mike: Oh you crazy bitch.
Mark: It's homemade mimosa time you crazy bitch!
Mike: That last part was my line you crazy bitch.
Mark: Who you calling a crazy bitch?!!!


Can you imagine if Russ and I did this shit?

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