12 March 2011

Sex Wax

The mobility in my elbow is almost back to normal, it's still stiff, I give it a few more days and I'll be back to Jazzercising. My public service announcement on the incident:


Hello friends, This is ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND saying drinking and surfing is the pits. I know night surfing with lotsa lotsa peppermint schnapps and a little ittey bitty clam chowder from Neptune's Nest on an empty stomach buzz sounds like a heck load of fun, but it will take you to Hell, Hell where Satan will burn every nerve of your gizzards with bullet ants. You'll say: "But ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND, even though I don't commit sodomy like you, I MYSELF would like to partake in this practice because I saw "Point Break" 8 times and everybody knows fags can't surf, " yes, that may be true numbnuts, but my sodomy gives me the ability to ride out waves without being distracted by the wahines you think are trying to make out your dick outline from your springsuit you little grommy shit.

So join me, along with the NAACP, in stopping baby shaking while drunk, I mean surfing while drunky, and we may stop the next tsunami.

4 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahaha!
    Wahines. Priceless.
    Jazzercising or jazzer-masturbating?
    Hold on . . . I think I just invented a way to print money. Nobody use jazzer-masturbating!
    Copywritten!

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  2. I'm just glad it wasn't my beating off arm that got beat up.
    I think you have something there "Jazzerbating: Take the pounds off while you pound off."

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  3. It's wrong, but the more of an asshole you are, the bigger my crush on you is...

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  4. Your green tea and red bean Pie made my heart skip a beat, and then it went back to normal.

    ReplyDelete

I eat your comments with jam and butter.