If you are still here from the beginning of my blog you might have remembered I had an aim to name all British women "Penelope Pinwheel." I though about it insurmountably and I thought of offering women in the UK $100 if the would make the name change legal, then I thought about the publicity and the media headlines screaming; "US Man Pays $100 For English Women To Change Name To Penelope Pinwheel" even if only 3 women do it. I'll be on the TODAY show after the segment with Martha Stewert showing how to make candied pecans. invited on the Graham Norton show with Judi Dench sitting on the couch next to me calling me a tosser and acting like I kicked the wind out of to where she queefed, I'll have had enough (my slow burn with anger won't be so slow now) and I'll tell her to; "Oh, shut up you, it's not a big deal." The next day I'll be the scorn of every Brit internet forum with being called a poofter with too much free time and too much gay money who told Dame Judi Dench to; "Shut Up You Old Bitch!" and hated more on the on-line polls than Syria and that will be my mark on this world, paying destitute Brit women to change their birth name to "Penelope Pinwheel" and calling matron Judi Dench an old bitch because I had too much sherry in the Graham Norton greenroom before the show started. Cut to me 2 months later doing speedballs that were big in the 80's in the back ally of the Chateau Marmont with Dina Lohan and "Igor" the Russian bouncer from the Rainbow Room because of this, my 15 minutes of fame.
So I decided to put my name change dream on the back burner.
My arrival at Heathrow airport to do a guest shot on "The Graham Norton Show" and enjoy some delicious scones with clotted cream.