01 June 2013

Wishing Well

Things I want to buy when I'm rich:

1. Laser beam eyes that can cut through the cocktail drinking straws of assholes at bars.
2. The UWBadgers wrestling team with a "Owner has fellatio option" contract clause.
3. A bionic/wolf/salamander hybrid dog named "Pancho."
4. Rome. So I can raze it and build condos called "Pancho's Party Central."
5. 1000 gold toothpicks (in case I lose a few).
6. Hair transplants on my ass so it looks like this:

7. A cat guillotine.


  1. That is what my ass looks like when I dont trim it . . .

  2. I want to be able to braid Pippi Longstocking-like braids with my ass hair.


I eat your comments with jam and butter.