02 May 2012

California's Gold

Google is telling me my Huell Howser post comes up 2nd if you type in their search engine "huell howser gay." My post doesn't flatter the man so I hope the dingleberry didn't get his one feeling hurt if he read it.

Some of my favorite comments about him on forums:

I am a straight male. I met Huell at Tex Mex in Hollywood in 2000. I was with a friend of mine and Huell was drunk. He came over and sat down next to me without being invited. After ten minutes of his obnoxious behavior my friend who was a male said; "don't you remember me, I did electrical work on your home and you tried to kiss me." Huell replied, with his thick Tennessee accent, "did I try to kiss you," and my friend replied loudly, "yes you did!" I then said "Huell, your too drunk, would you please leave the table." Huell then gave me his phone # and left the table, just staring at me the whole time with his bloodshot eyes.

That explains why the "Huell (Howser) Dog" contains 2 hot dogs at Pinks.
*Pinks hot dog stand has a dog named after him*

He also took massive steroids in the early 90s so he would look less gay. He looked like a pencil neck before hitting the roids. Now he is a muscle bound fruit loop! He really likes these remote desert places. Must be a lot of fruity parties?

I saw him once at The Abbey. He was perplexed by the lighting scheme in the bathroom.

He's like if huckleberry hound became human.


  1. I don't know what a Heul Herbert is. Should I?

  2. If you're being serious, thank your athiest God you don't. He'll drain your life force and drain other things.


I eat your comments with jam and butter.