09 September 2011

M.O.B

I'm wanting to put my blog on "invited only" because I'm now wondering who I gave my blog address to I don't remember in drunken states. If Bill (my nieces dad) pops on and says "Hi Ponch!," I swear I'm going to shoot that fucker and delete this blog. I once lived with Bill and my sister in Tuscon AZ when I was 16 and God forbide If I ate one page of his Steak-umms. He would snoop around my room for what he called "nudie magazines" and would make me burn the ticks off the Basset hound "Molly" with matches. One time he took me wabbit hunting (Tuscon Arizona is filled with rabbits, mesquite bushes and dying dreams of red-headed strippers who's bill's sister can count herself in as one). He didn't see shit, I saw rabbits darting all over the place but didn't say a word. He finally shot one because it paraded itself where he couldn't miss it and ended up feeding it to Molly because he thought it would give us ringworms if we ate it. Now Molly had a burned back AND ringworm. Go Fuck Yourself Bill.

9 comments:

  1. Oh my fucking god I hate Bill

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  2. I don't know what Bill did with the "Best Of Playgirl Centerfolds" magazine he confiscated, but I would please like it back.

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  3. What an ass, but not a nice ass, you know? Not those nice round ones that magically feel firm and soft at the same time and leave thinking that paradise does exist. He is a stinky, ugly looking, ass.

    Give the centerfolds back, you jerk. Don't make me have to curse you. And in case you haven't seen it, there is even a movie about what most people want to do to you.

    And my dear love (not your jerk-Bill), you do what you have to do with your blogging. The art of running our mouths, most be pleasant in order to be enjoyed.

    Hugs!

    And a kick on Bill's left cheek.

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  4. Bill sounds hot in a deliverance kind of way.

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  5. Magaly,

    Your sweeter than pumpkin parfait on a hot October night. Do me a favor and curse the MOFO anyways (undue his LASIK eye surgery or kill all those closest to him, whatever spell you find first).

    CA,

    One time we where visiting a Levitz furniture store and he followed this girl around with big low hanging tits in a t-shirt with my sister in tow. I just realized something. On our rabbit hunt I could have shot him and said It was an accident.

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  6. What a piece of shit. Your poor sister...

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  7. *sigh*
    I would have helped you convince the authorities it was all some weird mishap wherein you thought bill, who obviously wasn't wearing the approved neon orange jumper, was THE biggest rabbit you'd seen all season.
    We could have rescued your porn calendar AND split the difference in hooch and canned goods.

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  8. I would have told the cops it was all your idea. I'll try to visit you in prison, but I'll be uber-busy with this and that.

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I eat your comments with jam and butter.