29 July 2011

Baked Alaska

I check my followers list down below because I sometimes go over to the people who never comment here and surprise them by plooping over to their blog and leave a comment. It's like I catch them coming out of the shower and they scream; "Ahhh! What are you doing here? Have you been watching me the whole time? I didn't jiggle the lock, is that how you got in? Oh Lord, I didn't expect you to really come over. I have guns, do you know I have guns? A big man is coming over soon, he's someone I know, his name is Sammonyyy, I mean Sam Mony, and he has guns too...please don't do anything to me."

I also look and say; "Who are you? You weren't here 2 days ago, but I still have the same number of followers. So that means you replaced someone who isn't following my blog anymore but I don't know who's missing." I also don't get people who follow my blog for a duration and all of a sudden they stop following my blog and a few months later they're starting to follow my blog again, what changed your mind? Did you forgive me? Tell me what I did so I do it again. Did you start to have fond recollections of me and say to yourself; "Oh what the heck! I'll follow that little corn holer again." Well guess what dearies, I won't follow your blog again once you give me the big heave ho.

I'm on low carbs again, so that's why I'm bothered, talk dirty to me about sourdough and I'll get out of it


  1. low carbing's tough, man! It works real fast, but the happiness you feel from the scale sometimes just isn't enough to counteract the FRUSTRATION! Carbs just might be better than sex.

  2. At this point I'll take a warm buttermilk buiscut over getting the tip of my dick licked.

    I'm trying to add bulk with a new high protien/no carb regiment and now I'm irritated as Hell.

  3. I heard too much protein and not enough carbs can make it very hard to poop.

  4. I don't defecate. I simply release pellets that are gathered together and recycled like plastic. I don't urinate either, but I do cry yellow tears.


I eat your comments with jam and butter.