23 June 2011

chewing the cud

I eat loud. I didn't know this until my sister out of the blue said I always was a loud eater, since I was a little boy. I told Russ and he said; "Over the years I just got to ignore all that loud munching you do." I didn't know when I ate I sounded like I'm eating bubble wrap and gravel. NOW they tell me this? It's my chewing, it's not like I'm sucking out the end of spring rolls or slurping on country gravy. I think both of then have a sensory processing disorder and that both need to go to a hypnotherapist for their misophonia before they shoot me in the face (on an on-line forum I looked up there are others like them that say that loud chewing bothers them so much they want to "shoot people in the face" and how each chomp "sounds like a shotgun blast"). I also found on-line comments like this; "I'll sit for however long it takes my mother to eat a mint in her with my fingers in my ears," or "My first memory of this issue was when I was around 9. My grandmother would bite in to almonds at the dinner table and I would jump out of my skin. It was torture. No one else ever seemed to notice but me. Sometimes, instead of eating a meal, my grandmother would just sit down and eat a whole bag of almonds. By the time she would finish I would have a twitch in my right eye that would continue for days." Shooting people is really big with this crowd with someone else saying; "I get very irritated and I start to get mad at the person who is smacking and I feel like I have to shoot them in order to be happy (but I never end up doing it)." "Lisa" takes a different tactic saying; "It makes me want to rip my skin off...and then theirs."

Now I'll always wonder if I make Russ grind his teeth if I'm eating pot roast too loud at a Cocos. My bad grammar already sends people running for Alka Seltzer, now I have to wonder about this shite (I say shite instead of shit because I'm trying to be more Continental and fancy).


  1. I hate to admit this, but I'm one of those people who is SUPER sensitive to noisy eating! I know that it doesn't bother other people, I know the person doing it doesn't even know they're doing it, but still it really bothers me. I've tried to get over it, because it's my problem, not other people's.

  2. But you you don't want to hurt someone, a common feeling with these dopes.


I eat your comments with jam and butter.