13 December 2010

My Christmas Neighbor

Joel from upstairs moved out (mysterious Joel never talked to anyone and never told anyone what he did for a living. He would sleep all day and stay up all night working from home either filming REALLY low budget snuff films or catagorizing kiddy porn) He moved out because he said we kept on slamming doors (Russ likes to make grand exits when he drinks) and playing loud Christopher Cross's "Sailing" (Russ's favorite song) and Bananarama's "Wild Life."

The guy who moved in is named Brian and I met him yesterday, Brian looks like Jesus and now I think he's Jesus incognito, Who knew Jesus liked big-ass plasma T.V.'s? Now when I look up and ask my Lord and Savior to forgive my sins, he'll tell me to keep the music down (if Russ could slam music like a door, he would). Jesus is also in a band when he isn't a prop master for motion pictures. On Christmas morning I'll be sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree opening presents and "Brian" will pass by our window (probably coming back from playing an all-nite gig) and give me a knowing wink, that, or tell me I parked so he can't get into his garage.

This week all my posting will be Holiday postings before I go on hiatus til Christmas is over


  1. Maybe Joel is a vampire...

    And I'm sure your new neighbor is not Jesus, for the group that was screaming "Jesus Saves!" in South Ferry Station clearly said that Jesus has not returned yet, and when I do I'll be sorry I didn't accept him while I could. Wait a minute... Is Jesus coming from California?

  2. Joel didn't burn up when I threw holy water in his face and said "Die you unholy bastard!!! More like annoyed ; )

    Jesus is a surfer.

  3. Of course Jesus likes big ass plasma TVs. Was this ever really doubted?

    PS - you KILLED me with your comment. Absolutely positively wrenched my heart with it. I am absolutely ready to pull him based on that alone. (though my brother in law still remains a giant asshole)


  4. In doubt dammit in doubt. not doubted

  5. My blog is a grammar-police free zone, you're amongst friends, peace be with you daughter.
    *goes into a meditative state*


I eat your comments with jam and butter.