09 December 2010

cow head soup

We had our kind neighbors over for lunch (deviled eggs and the high-end version of sloppy Joe's, the manwich) and the ghost orb of Russ'e Pagan cow head made an appearance.

The conversation:

Her: So he left his job and now screws around all day...My God! What is that? Do you see that?!

Me: Oh, just ignore that, it's the ghost orb of a pagan cow God we had hanging on our wall. Did you know the ancient Babylonians use to worship cows? I think the Babylonians would have thrown ours into the sea with all that bitching he does. He leaves these little powder scorch marks on the floor, like the ones next to your feet, yeah, those. I didn't even know ghost orbs even emanated heat. I think he hangs around the stove til he gets hot enough and then floats over to the floor so he can leave those little scorches just to irritate me to no end. I never caught him doing it, he'll sue me for libel if I said he did, he sued me before because he's sue happy, so I wouldn't throw it past him. The last time he sued me he brought in character witnesses saying I believe we didn't land on the moon and I huff hairspray cans, the court ordeal was a spectacle let me tell you, I even fainted in the middle of it, I'm usually not that melodramatic. Another deviled egg?

After a long pause they said they think they can hear their parakeet crying and had to leave right away.

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