17 October 2010

Darrell

We have another neighbor other than the talented and lovely Frank named Darrell. Darrell works at the Burbank public library at the front desk sending people on wild goose chases for books I know the library doesn't have. He takes his break when he either sees Russ or I walk in (Russ has discovered "Books On Tape" and he can't get enough of the things). Darrell lives alone, but is a busybody gay man who looks like he keeps jars of caramel for sundaes next to his bed. Beth our other neighbor (remind me to go back to HER and her "legal" pot one day) says Darrell was fired from a Motion Picture Studio because he kept on stealing the props from the sets of canceled Sci Fi series. He hates Russ for some reason (maybe he sees "Books On Tape" people as lazy because they can't go from one sentence to another without saying "Oh fuck it! Let somebody else read it to me") and called our property management to say Russ slams doors and waters the lawn at odd hours (our lawns look so FANTASTIC you could eat off of them). Darrell always comes home late (2-3 in the morning) and parks right in front of our front door so he can peer in to see what we're doing. Since I don't believe the library keeps separate hours for Nosferatus, my guess is he cruises the local Griffith Park looking for dick to suck in the bushes. Russ and I are going to have a conference over the problem called Darrell and hope for the worst turnout.

5 comments:

  1. watering your lawn too much, now THAT'S something to complain about.

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  2. LOL
    I can't decide which is my favorite: Jars of caramel next to his bed or being fired for stealing sci fi props

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  3. dobunezumi,
    It's never more than 20 min, and the city of Burbank says you can only water 3 days a week and only after 6 pm. Did you know cops put a hole through our front door?

    T,
    He has all his stolen Spock booty in his garage.

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  4. I'm sad your assessment wasn't more along the lines of building walls in his basement with the lidless mummefied corpses of his former neighbors.

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  5. I think that's what he thinks WE do. Like he would know to use calcium hydroxide for a clean stink dehydration of the body...uhhhh...so I've heard.

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I eat your comments with jam and butter.