24 November 2009

Action Packed Thrill Ride!!!!

Picture this:

Keanu Reeves as a Cater Waiter named John Fathom...who has to stop a terrorist takeover of the United Nations luncheon he's working...the twist being he used to be an assassin for the mob, but he turned over states evidence against key mobsters and had to go into the witness protection program being, a Cater Waiter. Keanu now has to rely on his "killer for the mob" skills to stop the high tech badies. That's all I have for my screenplay right now. I want the leader of the terrorist to be Tilda Swinton and I want the movie called "Hard Extreme Velocity Delta Furious With Extreme Prejudice." The tag line reads something like: "He's serving shrimp puffs and kick ass, and he's all out of shrimp puffs."

So what do you think?

* It falls apart without Keanu.


  1. Fucking Brilliant! I especially love the title...and the tag line! Pure Gold, AB. PURE GOLD :D

  2. I also want to find a role in the movie for that blond guy who played Bill in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." Maybe he'll be John Fathom's best friend who turns traitor for Swinton. The thing just writes itself.

  3. The really fucked up thing, I mean the super duper fucked up thing, is that I'd actually want to see this movie. ESPECIALLY if you got Tilda Swinton to be the leader of the terrorists. How fucking awesome would she be at that?

  4. My agent will be sending you my headshot and resume.

    I look exactly like Alex Winter. (except for for the face)

    And just because Alex has been working as a Cater Waiter for the past several years doesn't mean that he is perfect for the part.

    Have a happy Thanksgiving.

  5. CA,

    I want Swintons second in command to be a female disguised as a UN interpreter who has a personal beef with Fathom with a Special Ops background.


    When you do the casting couch bit, I'll pray it's a girl.

    Happy Thanksgiving buddy.

  6. Ooo...I forgot about the fun part!

    Thanks for your prayers, but I am resolved to the fact that I just have to take what I can get.

  7. Glad you're open minded, now let me tell you about Kevin Spacey blowing straight waiters so they can get parts...


I eat your comments with jam and butter.