29 March 2009

Dazed and Confused

One of the first people to comment on my blog, other than the lovely Meagan and the mysterious Emma, was a gay Atheist. Everything was all fine and dandy until the topic of God came up. Make a long story short, he turned to insulting me personally instead of sticking to the subject at hand and I made him disappear from my blog like a magic trick. Now normally I would rip someone a new asshole for that, but I didn't with him, maybe because I saw hurt behind his words, or maybe because he was from my "tribe," I don't know. The thing with Atheists is this collective anger and obsessiveness they seem to share with the concept of a God they claim not to believe in. He wasn't the first Atheist I came across, but he was the first homosexual one I dealt with. I told him, because he fit the mold, that all the Atheists I have dealt in the past were, for the most part, angry, patronizing, and insulting (they refer to God as "Flying Spaghetti Monster" and Jesus as "Jeebus." They know it's going to get under people's skin, but they do it anyways) and they believe they are just so much more enlightened than the rest of us boobs who are just too stupid or too afraid to get away from our "God Trip." Even if God were not real it says more about them and their sick glee with trying to pop my "God Bubble" than what it says about me and my God belief. Atheism has a strong foothold with the homosexual community because they see what is called an 'Ugly Christian" with all his anti-gay rhetoric and they are poisoned to the whole concept of the God of Genesis, Jesus, or anything smelling of Peter, Paul, or Mary ("I hate God because He hated me first" is the sub-conscious underpinning behind it). Because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to leave my Bible at the door, that's men telling me to do that, not God.

One man wrote how he lost his faith (he later wrote a book trying to debunk the Bible with old shit that was already talked about by better writers and refuted). He describes it as little black bubbles that just started to leave him and by the time the last bubble left, every speck of faith in a God left with it. I don't know why bubbles leave, or why you would let them, but I do know I have mine in a tight jam jar (grape), wrapped in plastic, with a few telephone books on top in case they try to make a getaway. God didn't leave me when I stopped being the Christian I was and become what I am now, I'm going to show Him the same courtesy.


  1. I actually don't believe in God any longer but I hate the word atheist ..it just sounds so evil... and I'm not angry about it I'm almost sad about my disbelief ...like when I found out there was no Santa.

    I think people should be free to believe whatever they want to believe ...and hopefully, believe in that which makes them happy.

  2. Everyone deserves respect and everyone deserves to have the beliefs that will make them happy respected. Mocking the belief others have in God does neither.

  3. I feel the same way. As someone raised Catholic who no longer considers herself one, and hasn't for probably about eight years, while I am comfortable with my own lack of faith, I don't like the word atheist anymore, probably because of the connotation it holds for so many people I hold dear. Also because I went on a retreat my senior year of high school (retreats at my high school were really popular - everyone went, and I mostly went to get away from school and do some soul-searching in an environment that was not my neon-painted room), and some kids who were my friends came up to me and asked me if I was still "the a-word" and if I had gone on the retreat to be converted. It made me pretty sad at the time. I felt pretty separate from everyone else, and that was like the last thing that I had intended.
    I usually try not to get into too many conversations about it, because I've also found that, as with nonreligious people, religious people can also be really sensitive about it, and see my nonbelief as an attack on theirs... but really I am almost jealous. Overly sensitive atheists remind me of anorexic girls. Girls who don't eat or consciously limit themselves to inhuman amounts of food on a daily basis for the purpose of weight loss are obsessed with food. Food is one of the only things that they think about. So too with atheists.
    I think religion and faith are essentially about fit - I don't mean that one religion is a better fit than another, but more that having a belief like that fits and makes sense for some people, but not others. Either way, it's about what works, what fits, what makes you smile at the end of a long day.

  4. oh dear. this is one touchy subject. i'll just say i hate religion. my dad was a preacher and i had way too much god/jesus/church rammed down my throat. but to each his/her own!

  5. Russ had the same kind of force feeding from his dad. We can all find some kind of peace and workable happiness with some kind of God of our own invention, the question is if there is a right God or a wrong God for us? Is the peace we get our own creation or is it given to us from an outside source? And who is that outside source.

  6. I guess I'm a bit late here, but I'm mysterious like that.

    I refer to myself as an atheist, but I do respect that others believe...only to me it's actual believing (like in fairytales). I'm an atheist simply because I just don't believe in the existence of God or an afterlife, no other reason. So if others believe and find strenght etc. in God, good for them!

    I guess the diffrence between me and the kind of atheist mentioned in the post is that I've never had any bad experience (or almost any interaction at all) with organized religion, so I don't feel threatened or by it. As I understand it the matter of religion and believing in God seems to be more of a hot topic and lead to more schism in the US, whilst in let's say...ummm...Sweden where the mysterious Emma might reside it has no what so ever significance. Maybe I would have had a diffrent attitude or agressiveness in my atheism if Christianity/God wasn't pretty much disregarded in my society. But I hope not, because that's not the kind of person I would want to be!

  7. I don't see you as that kind of Atheist either Emma.

    The thing with the guy I debated is that he couldn't understand the differance between organized religion and just simple people who had a belief in God who sustain them in a simple, but sometime, powerfull way in this life.

    When I first started this blog I found the blog of a guy named "Gay Snowboarder" I think. He was having some kind of faith issue and I talked to him. I didn't say anything in any way insightful, but I did make it clear nothing is left by chance to God and that me finding his blog at that specific time was no accident, I also told him God loved him even more than even HE knows. My blog stat counter went through the roof after that exchange and I never hit those numbers before or after. I thought; "Wow, people need to hear God still loves them" and I still believe that.


I eat your comments with jam and butter.